If there was a way that I could somehow stop myself from being selfless in a relationship, I would. In an ideal world, the more you give the more you get - but this is real life and maybe I should just accept the fact that that's not how its ever going to be. How is it that no one sees how deeply afraid we were that night? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret w/o knowing it? 

Okay. 

Nvm.

So it turns out to be that you can't be bothered at all. 

Thanks for saying for the sake of saying. 

Insomnia

Couldn't sleep well last night. Dreamt of him.. So Today's Monday .... Lets see if you still remember what you said on Friday.. 

I've been thinking about it the whole night yesterday... Kept asking myself what if he doesn't remember.... So what if he really doesn't? What am I going to do? Am I going to remind him? No, I wouldn't.... 

This could mean everything or nothing at all. 

Hectic week

The week felt like a year. Started work and 24/7 a day is not enough for me at all. Wake up at 6am, and I only reach home at 8/9/10/11. 8 is considered the earliest. Nonetheless, it is all good. I feel so grownup now. It is only when you really move to the next phase in your life you would treasure all the times when you were younger and so carefree. 

Skipped boozing last night coz my body needs the entire weekend to recover from the manic week.

On Friday I woke up at 5am, and reached home at 5am plus on Saturday morning. Imagine staying out for the whole 24hours. Started boozing in the evening coz my company had a ceremony. Free flow boozing. The desserts were so delicious that I had about 8 mini gula melaka cupcakes. Hahaha. Yes, I am greedy. 

My colleague 

You

I wonder how your eyes since yearned for me... not yearning, but yearning so much.

A month ago under moonlight sheets of  your solace, I held you together felt the warmth of your skin. I never wanted to show it so I kept it hidden beneath your frozen emotions and cursed sentiments.

And now at this very moment, I feel unwanted or perhaps it felt like you longed for me long enough

To emerged brave 

To put myself out there 

Looking at the same ducts where I lived a thousand days 

Right across from another sight

Wish I could have your arms to keep me warm in the cold I feel towards dreams, reality, and everything in between. It's as if something in me longs for something I can't grasp, maybe its something I lost or something I have yet to discover...

Just do it

Impulsive and mild tempered. I wouldn’t say I’m proud of these traits that I have, but neither am I ashamed of them. I have a much Better hold of my temper now, and am still working on my impulsiveness. I like being outspoken, at least I don’t border on being blunt and crude.

Life taught me so many lessons. And I’m still learning. And for now, I just want to aim high and do the best that I can do. Determination to succeed.