辛苦

辛苦你知道嗎？

累你知道嗎？

Fear

Is this per wedding jitters? Or am I just not prepared for this? 

Why am I so worried? Why do I fear for my future? 

I'm so afraid that I'll be ill treated, literally... 

I need a backup plan.. I need to have my own plan. I need happiness, not endless stress and fear. 

sadly

the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. the one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most.

Im tired

Sometimes I hate explaining myself. Perhaps i shouldnt waste my time with explanations; people only hear what they want to hear.

I'm tired.

Closure is acceptance; not understanding.

#justsoyouknow

Love?

'What if i never love anyone the way i loved him?' I asked.

'You wont,' a girlfriend replied. 'you never love the same way twice.'

FarmerFoundAngel

:)

There are locked rooms inside all women, kitchen of love, bedroom of grief, bathroom of apathy. Sometimes, the men, they come with key, and sometimes the men, they come with hammers.

Work. Career

I miss my job. I miss my career. I miss the achievements. I miss the satisfaction whenever I see my clients having a wide smile on their face. I miss talking to my clients. I miss those hectic, crazy work schedule. I miss having not enough sleep due to work. I miss complaining about candidates/hiring managers. I miss interviewing and screening candidates. I miss those lunch hours hanging ard at raffles place. I miss the food that Aviel would bring to work for us. I miss submitting daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, half-a-year and once a year reports. I miss the assessments, I miss those monthly training. I miss mentoring someone and telling ppl what is it to be a good recruiter. I miss achieving and hitting the monthly targets. I miss the incentives and IBI. I miss those CSA meetings.

Many a time, I ask myself "So what have I achieved in my life thus far?" I dont know...

Yes, I've a degree; I'm a graduate.
Yes, I was confirmed before my probation period ended.
Yes, I was promoted twice.
Yes, I've received compliments from both clients and candidates.

I miss my job and I wish can go back to recruitment but everyone knows its impossible. Will I regret? I hope not.....

He doesnt understand how it feels.
Nobody will anyway.

Women

some women want to be house wives, and some women want to be Harvard professors, and some women want to be porn stars, and some women want to be nuns, and some women want to be surgeons, some women wants to be headhunters and there is nothing wrong with anyone’s profession. I am sick of people being rude to women about their professions.

Sick

So stress with wedding preparation that I'm officially down with multi virus. TT 

The Ground

Finally settled the wedding date, venue, wedding photography, and our helpers list!! 

Next to catch up on wedding photoshoot, ROM application, theme, decorations, invites, games... 

OHMYGAWD. Headache. 😫

Birthday

This is probably one of the worst and longest birthday I ever had. It happened on me, again....

I don’t know why those things happen, and I wish I could stop them. But I can’t. 

Something horrible happens to everyone. It’s inescapable. Like Forrest Gump said, shit happens. These terrible experiences differ from person to person; what’s awful to me might be easy to conquer for you. We can’t play the “one-up” game with that sort of thing. But they make you grow, and they open your eyes a little wider. You gain that perspective your parents and teachers were always telling you about. Everything you do has a consequence, negative or positive, and it teaches you something. 

Now, tell me .. how do I resolve this? 

These Days ...

Sometimes you make me wonder if two of us complement each other.

These days I think a lot... 

Thinking and wondering in silence. 

Another

Today I received a FB notification from a groom-to-be friend announcing that they called off the wedding. I was in a deep shock wondering what on earth happened? This is the 2nd friend that called off their wedding this year which makes me really scare of my own marriage. 

A relationship is fragile. The reason why we often hurt more the ones who love us most is because we do not realize this. They get hurt.  And they get hurt the most by the people they love the most.

Relationships have become fragile because we don't express our love. We take people for granted. We think that others exist for us and can 'use' them whenever we want. We don't feel grateful for the presence of valuable people in our life. We miss all the primaries and suddenly, all secondaries and frivolities appear huge. We look at faults with microscopic eyes and ignore others' feelings. We realize people's value only when they are gone from our life.

When there is unconditional love and a deep understanding, everything else will seem trivial. When it is not there, relationships become fragile and eventually break.

PISSED

You're always saying you're busy, busy, and busy. why do you have so much time to play your game if you're busy then? 

KOREA!

Wedding

Coordinating wedding between both families is such a fuss. 😞😔 

Where's my future?

Ring

Feel so blissful just by looking at our ring. Yes, it's ours not just mine. But at the same time, I feel terrified for my future. For I don't know what the future holds. I know I should be prepared for the worst, but I'm def not ready if anything happens to me, you and us.. Somehow, I have this feeling that things won't be smooth...

Have been dieting for the no-date-big-day, ring is rather loose now. Weigh myself today and I'm happy that I've lost 2kgs. Body fats reduced to 19%, it was 23% 1 month ago. :P 

Farewell

Farewell dinner for my sister.. 

Sushi Date.

Tonight we went back to Kaiho Sushi. I still remember what happened the first time we went there. I was so pissed with him that I was crying there because of some issue before we got together. So mad that I felt like asking him to get out of my sight when I saw him coz I didn't even know that he'd be joining us, if I knew I'd have went home alrdy. 

Those momories make me cherish our relationship even more. 

Forever & Always

Surprises for my wise man birthday

He who knows how to love me.

Tired.

why do I feel so tired over all these? Why do I feel like giving up whatever I'm fighting for? Why do I feel like I should pursue my interest instead? So many Whys.

Whats happening? 

King Of Fruits

Went back to Tangkak over the weekend with my family & Andy for durian feast. I personally feel that durians last year are better as compared to this year. But anyways, I had so much durians that I've a little phobia now. Need to avoid eating durians for now. 

Both my family & Andy brought back a mountain of durians to distribute to our friends. 

Welcome Back

Its been a long while since I last blogged.

Where should I start? So many things happened over the past year. I don't even know where to start.

To summarise it, I'm engaged to Andy. I've known him through a friend, xt, many years back. It wasn't an easy journey, but I'm glad we overcame all the tiny obstacles.

I left RecruitFirst, I was very reclutant to leave but I had no choice. Am helping my dad with his business for a period of time before the real battle begins.

My sis is going to be based in Dubai for work for a duration of 3years. 😭

Korea trip is cancelled due to MERS.

Till then ....